You Have Permission
Learning How to Give Myself Permission to Fail, Grow, & Evolve + the Evolution and Rebirth of Life Designer University
Can I let you in on a struggle of mine? I’ve always had a hard time making decisions. Regardless of how big or small the decision may be, the question in the back of my mind has always been, “Am I making the right decision?”
I found myself asking this question not too long ago on Labor Day weekend. I don’t usually take part in holiday sales. Not because I don’t have the desire to but because of our financial bandwidth in this season, I like to be intentional in how we’re spending our money. However, I learned that one of my favorite sustainable fashion brands, Able, was having a sale, and this pretty Gingerbread ribbed zipped sweater, that had been following me around for weeks through Pinterest’s advertisements, was on final sale.
The problem was that although the sweater was on final sale, for meeee it wasn’t at a final sale price. Not only was it pricey, but I also wasn’t sure about my sizing since I hadn’t bought any clothing outside of leggings since having the twins, and with it being on final sale, there was no way I could return or exchange it. Now I am aware that ethical and sustainable fashion can be pricey, as you are choosing quality and often integrity in how the clothing is made. However, I had a hard time justifying the price even though new clothes were what I needed. So what did I do? I called my best friend.
I shared with her my dilemma (really my anxiety) regarding the sizing and pricing and asked her, “Should I buy the sweater? If you were me, would you buy it? ” She responded scoffing and laughing, “Yes, Janelle. You are allowed to buy the sweater.” She knew that I was seeking more than reassurance regarding the sizing and pricing. What I really was seeking was permission and reassurance that I was making the right decision.
That was Labor Day weekend and a little more than three weeks later, I found myself asking for permission again regarding another small, but not insignificant, decision. As we prepare to enter the last quarter of the year, I’ve been praying that the Lord would give me clarity and fresh vision for how He wants me to approach my work in this season. In my last check-in, I shared an update regarding some upcoming work projects that had prevented me from sharing a typical post the last few weeks.
In the past few months, I had been preparing for a Lunch and Learn and a half-day workshop that I was contracted to facilitate. During that time, I was also contracted last minute to develop some group exercises for a client’s executive leaders along with working on an article for a larger industry platform and continuing to serve a few of my coaching clients. Needless to say, ya girl was busy. Because we don’t have childcare, all of this work had to be squeezed into the fringe hours of my day when the kids were sleeping. Many mornings, I would swap my 5 a.m. workouts with work sessions just so I could have a few hours to work uninterruptedly before the kids got up.
Although overwhelming, I realized that if I could execute these projects and make these deadlines, maybe I could finally make progress on my personal work projects too. I spent the more significant part of 2022 and the beginning of this year transitioning as a stay-at-home mom to Irish triplets and navigating this new world of managing marriage, motherhood, and work, and for the first time, I realized that maybe the margin is there. I just needed to pray and seek how the Lord wanted me to use it.
During this time of prayer, the one thing that kept coming up was this Substack. I shared in my previous post how this platform has been so healing to me in the small amount of time that I have been present here. I started it as a creative outlet for me, but during prayer, I sensed that maybe God wanted to use this too. Before becoming an Organizational Psychologist, I spent many years coaching women and creating content and resources to help them discover their purpose and design a life and vocation that they and God loved through what was once called Life Designer University.
However, I became disillusioned and burned out over the years from striving, investing, and pouring into the business what I never received back in return. That disillusionment along with other factors played a huge part in the reason why I pivoted away from coaching, but through this platform, the Holy Spirit’s promptings, and conversations I’ve been having with some of my close friends, I’ve been starting to believe that maybe God wants to redeem that experience and use it in a fresh way through this Substack.
I started this Substack as not only a creative outlet but a safe space for me to process my thoughts and journey in this season of life, work, and motherhood. However, I didn’t realize that as I have shared how I’ve been inadvertently coaching myself through this season, I was inviting others to do the same. In one way or another, I still have been encouraging other people to design a life of meaning and purpose. Freely & Lightly shares my personal journey of how I’ve been doing that, and I could continue to keep it as it is, or I could broaden it to make a bigger impact and share the larger context of what I believe God is calling me to. I had a decision to make, and I wanted to make the right decision.
Out of habit, the other day I called another friend requesting her opinion but really asking for permission. Permission to lean back into my calling of coaching and encouraging women while continuing to share my personal journey of undoing, unlearning, and becoming along the way. After talking it through with her, I realized that I didn’t need her permission. I needed mine.
God has always given us permission, or free will, to choose how we participate in His purpose and plan. In His grace, He has given us permission to try, make mistakes, fail, grow, explore, and evolve, but I never dared to extend that same grace to myself. My chest tightens at the thought of making the “wrong” decision as if making the wrong decision would condemn me to a life of failure or put me further off course of God’s purpose and plan. Even though He didn’t have to, through a divine encounter later that day, God confirmed later that He did want to use my writing on this platform. He wanted to redeem what was once Life Designer University in this newsletter now called The Life Designer.
The Life Designer is a publication designed and curated to inspire and encourage you to design a grace-filled and striving-free life that is filled with meaning, purpose, and intention.
As I have shared, this newsletter is a rebirth, in a sense, as I have spent the last several years coaching women through uncovering their purpose and designing meaningful lives and vocations. It is also an evolution of my own personal development and faith journey over the years as I have learned to surrender and entrust my calling to Christ throughout the various seasons.
In this publication, you will find curated collections filled with tips, recommendations, and resources on purpose, personal development, faith, and intentional living. You’ll also receive an inside look into my own journey of undoing, unlearning, and becoming through my collection titled Freely & Lightly.
Whether it’s through sharing practical coaching, research from the fields of organizational, vocational, or positive psychology, or personal and honest reflections and essays, my prayer is that you are encouraged to design a life of meaning, purpose, and intention.
This is where I am. I am walking in purpose and freedom, giving myself the permission to experiment, grow, explore, and evolve, and in sharing this journey, I hope you can find the courage and give yourself permission to do the same too.
A Word of Gratitude…
P.S. To my subscribers who have been with me since Fearfully Fashioned, Life Designer University, and my most recent transition, thank you for your continued support. God has shown His faithfulness to me through your kindness and support. For you, I am forever grateful. This newsletter is for you!
Purpose in the pivot! Hello it’s been too long. You wrote this days before I posted my first publication here. I’m thrilled to reconnect with you through something we both enjoy, writing. I am also on the journey of becoming a health & wellness coach so we relate there as well. I know I will learn and grow a lot through your posts. Thank you for being here.
I related to this as someone who started a mini flower farm that never got off the ground. However I keep learning and dreaming. This encouraged me greatly.