White Spaces & Glimpses of Grace
January 24' Reflections: Black Dots, White Spaces, & a Round Up of All the Things
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Happy February and the end to what felt like the longest month. Does anyone else feel like January has just dragged on?
My January felt very much like a continuation of 2023 — the same old daily routines and daily grind. Similarly to last year, I entered this year very sober-minded: no declaration of “there’s more in store for 2024,” just humbling and accepting whatever the Lord will bring.
But as the weeks went on, that sobriety slowly started to turn into anxiety as I considered all the things that were still hanging in the balance:
Unanswered prayers
Unmet need
Unfulfilled desires
With every day, my anxiety intensified as the challenges and inconveniences seemed to magnify.
All I could see was lack — what I was lacking financially, spiritually, and emotionally. It seemed like every day, I was presented with an opportunity to stand face-to-face with my weakness, and that weakness was all I could see. And to be honest, I was too overwhelmed and tired to see anything else. But thank God for grace.
Yesterday I was reading through my motherhood devotional1, girding myself for another day of life with littles, and was reminded of this truth.
“If we’re only focused on the work still to be done and prayers yet to be answered in the way that we’re hoping or expecting, we will miss the “little” answers to prayer and unexpected blessings along the way. On the other hand, looking for ways we see God’s faithfulness and grace at work right in front of us leads to a sense of joy, a greater prayerfulness, and a heart of gratitude.”
At that moment, I realized I was missing it. Missing all the ways the Lord was guiding, providing, and sustaining me in those moments of weakness. Missing it because I had a narrow focus.
That’s how anxiety works. In Permission to Feel, Marc Brackett, an emotion scientist and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, expresses how anxiety, hopelessness, fear, or any negative emotion, tends to narrow our thinking, bringing whatever thing that is periling us into focus. This produces a physiological response that inhibits our brain, preventing it from effectively processing information, learning, or seeing new perspectives, similarly when you look at the image below.
You can choose to see the black dot — the unanswered prayers, the unmet needs or expectations, the imperfections — or you can choose to see the white space — the abundance, the opportunity, all the ways that God is working, even amid imperfection.
At that moment, I shifted my perspective to see the white space, noticing the glimpses of grace that had been there all along:
A treatable diagnosis
A new laptop gifted to me by my best friend
Unexpectedly securing a speaking engagement
Signing a contract for an exciting project
A new paid Substack subscriber
Getting out of the house to attend my college best friend’s birthday party
My son going to the potty without being prompted (😭😩🙌🏾)
And the crazy thing is, had I kept focusing on all the black dots competing for my attention, I would’ve missed them.
What are the black dots that are stealing your focus and attention? The reality is that the black dots won’t always go away, but they can lessen when we choose to focus on the white space that is around us. I pray that, as the devotional encourages, we will look for that white space and all the ways that God’s faithfulness and grace are at work right here, right now.
Books 📚
Glory in the Ordinary: Why Your Work in the Home Matters to God by Courtney Reissig. I didn’t realize how much I deeply needed this book until I picked it up. Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, at times I have struggled with finding meaning and significance in this season. In Glory in the Ordinary, Courtney doesn’t shy away from the struggles and the negative connotations surrounding at-home work and helps you see your contribution within your four walls as meaningful and valuable.
The Happy Life of Isadora Bentley by Courtney Walsh. I haven’t found a character, in a while, that I could relate to like Isadora. Wallowing in self-pity on her 30th birthday, academic researcher, Isadora stumbles across a magazine prescribing 31 steps that lead to happiness. In her skeptical nature, she decides to conduct a self-experiment to disprove the idea that one can truly be happy. As she completes the steps, Isadora discovers some surprising findings about herself and the world around her. This was truly a coming-of-age story. I found myself laughing and crying throughout her growth and evolution. I read it on Kindle but plan on buying a physical copy because I am sure that I will want to read it again.
These are just some of my favorites. For a full list of what I read this month, check my Goodreads.
Podcasts 🎧
Journey Women | Rest for the Weary: God’s Grace in the Mundane with Maryanne Challies Helms. This was my second time listening to this episode, so that and the title tell you enough. In this episode, Maryanne shares how biblical truth should ground us as we navigate the landscape of current social media culture and encourages us to seek contentment and see the meaning in the mundane and ordinary aspects of life, motherhood, and ministry.
The Joy Filled Podcast | Where is God When I Feel Weak? with Emily Jensen. I was really encouraged by this conversation between Jenna and Emily, as most days I feel weak and overwhelmed in this season of life and motherhood. This episode was a reminder that God can use our moments of weariness to display his strength and grace.
Minimal-ish | Becoming Conscious Consumers in an Influencer World. Using the highly coveted Stanley Cup as a jumping-off point, Desirae calls out our consumeristic social media culture and shares how we can create conscious buying habits and set boundaries for how we interact and engage on social media. This conversation was very aligned with the conversation that I and my friends have been having regarding seeking contentment, making wise financial decisions, and maintaining originality on these social platforms.
Recipes 👩🏾🍳
This was my first month trying my hand at a pot roast. My husband and I were both craving something cozy and savory. I found this recipe on Pinterest. I highly recommend adding your own seasonings. The recipes never have enough for my personal preference (🥴🤣 ), but overall it was a hit! We will be adding it to our rotation.
Other Things ✨
I was totally influenced by
to purchase this Arthur bookmark. It reminds me of my childhood and brings me so much joy 🥰.Amber Burns has put me onto fountains pens this month. I’m still getting used to the way it writes, but this fountain pen + this notebook have been a winning combination for me 👌🏾.
ICYMI
Throughout the month, I love to post notes, reflections, or other resources that I find encouraging or helpful. Make sure you download the Substack app so you don’t miss out on new notes, chats, and threads.
Catch up on January Posts
Numbering Our Days
“Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts.” - Psalm 90:12 Another year in the books has me thinking about this Scripture a lot lately, as it seems like last year ended just as quickly as it started, and I know this year won’t be any different. What they say is true, “the days are long, but the years ar…
Reevaluating & Redesigning Your Rhythms & Routines
How can we number and make the most of the days we've been given? This is a question of purpose, meaning, and wisdom that endcaps core seasons and pivotal moments -- the beginning and end of the year, the life or death of a loved one, birthdays, and life transitions.
3: Numbering Our Days Through Our Habits & Routines
Episode Summary We know that we should number our days, but what does that look like practically? Over the last few posts, we’ve been discussing what it looks like to make the most of the days we’ve been given. One of those ways is through goal setting, which we discussed in the previous episode, and today I want to talk about how we can number our days …
Hang out with me on Instagram
I decided to hop on the 2024 ins and outs bandwagon over on Instagram and shared mine in this Instagram Reel. What are your ins and outs for the year?
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This post is a part of Freely & Lightly, a collection of personal musings and raw and honest essays from my journey of undoing and becoming. Through sharing personal stories, inspirational books, favorite links, or the mundanities of everyday living, I hope you leave inspired, encouraged, and refreshed. So take a load off. Recover your life. Lean into your season. Let the Lord refresh you as you learn His unforce rhythms of grace. Click here to read more of this collection’s posts.
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After the end of 2023 I definitely need to remember to focus on the White Spaces.